O Dollar Tree, O Dollar Tree

So, Holly and I have grown quite fond of Dollar Tree over the last little while. It beats out other dollar stores for us because, well, everything's a dollar. None of this $4, $5, or $6 crap they try to pull at other dollar stores. You know what to expect right when you walk in the door.

Tonight, for example, was a birthday party for Sarah, the wife of Cory, one of my old roommates. Since we knew it would be a modestly small gathering, we decided we would peruse the Provo Dollar Tree and see what we could find. Since she works with the BYU Police Department (as a receptionist; not packing heat by any means), we were hoping to find a badge or something cute like that.

Instead, we hit the mother lode.

A six-piece police action set, complete with badge, handcuffs, whistle, mini plastic nightstick, plastic walkie-talkie, and some other coppish article I can't remember right now. We got that, 30 sheets of tissue paper, a Happy Birthday bag, and a pregnancy test (just to freak Cory out). We know the pregnancy test is legit, because the cashier said so to a lady in front of us in line: "If it didn't work, they wouldn't let us sell it." Profound.

All that for $4 and tax. Sarah loved it; truly the highlight of the party. Cory did get freaked out, as we predicted, which was an added bonus.

To be perfectly honest, however, there is more to this love affair than just trinkets for birthdays. My favorite aspect of Dollar Tree?

One. Dollar. Books.

Mind you, most of the books available are either paperback Bibles or other spiritually-minded fare. Often, though, many sports books dot the shelves. One dollar for hardcovers that once went for $25? No need to ask me twice.

Here's a rundown of all the books I've ever bought from Dollar Tree:

Why Not Us? The 86-Year Journey of the Boston Red Sox Fans from Unparallelled Suffering to the Promised Land of the 2004 World Series, by Leigh Montville

Hideki Matsui: Sportsmanship, Modesty, and the Art of the Home Run, by Shizuka Ijuin (Winner for best title)

The Education of a Coach, by David Halberstam (Mini-bio of NE Patriots coach Bill Belichick)

700 Sundays, by Billy Crystal (The adaptation of his One-man show on Broadway)

Man in the Middle, by John Amaechi (The guy who used to play for the Jazz who is gay)

The Sixth Man, by Chris Palmer (NBA offseason book)

Big Papi: My Story of Big Dreams and Big Hits, by David Ortiz (and another guy. No way the Dominican Daddy could piece together such an elaborate memoir.)

Third and a Mile: The Trials and Triumphs of the Black Quarterback, by William C. Rhoden (Deep title. Deep.)

Miracle in the Andes: 72 Days on the Mountain and My Long Trek Home, by Nando Parrado (Uruguayan rugby player who survived a plane crash)

The Punch, by John Feinstein (Kermit Washington vs. Rudy Tomjonavich)

Man o' War: A Legend Like Lightning, by Dorothy Ours (Horsies!)

That's 11, count 'em, 11 books for 11 bucks! Gotta love that!

Needless to say, Dollar Tree will continue to be a staple of our marriage, methinks.